Friday, May 15, 2009

Scampi's Rules

I keep seeing this strange list on other doggies posts about how they will NOT do any of these things. It is Soooo not real.
I have revised it to suit me, so here is my list.

  • I will always eat the kitty food, before or after they eat it.

  • The Cat litter box is filled with treats!

  • I will play tug o’ war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.

  • I will always roll on anything I find that is dead or smelly, that way I can smell like that too.

  • I will wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose in her ear, and start whining in it too!

  • I will bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for mom’s driver’s license and car registration.

  • I will not get my feet wet, even if I have not gone out in 8 hours, if it is raining.

  • I will steal my Mom’s underwear and dance all over the house with it when they are having company over

  • The sofa is a face towel. So are Mom and Dad’s laps.

  • We have a doorbell, and I will bark each time I hear one on TV.

  • Ditto for door knocking, hammering, someone doing anything that sounds like knocking.

  • My head does belongs in the refrigerator.

  • Ditto for our guest’s crotch.

  • I will roll my toys behind the fridge and then bark at Mom until she retrieves it for me. The same for my toys in the pool..

  • The garbage collector IS stealing our stuff.

  • And so is the Mailman, he is just evil!

  • The UPS truck is another evil entity which must at all costs be kept away from the house and street

  • People walking by my house are too close, and will bark at them until I can't see them any more to keep away.
  • and yes, I do own both sides of the street.
  • I will whine when Mom goes into the bathroom and shuts me out, she may escape out the window.
  • All dogs are for me to play with, even in dog school, despite Mom telling me to sit and stay, hah!
  • Any food left within my reach is fair game
  • All and any toys belong to me.


Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Did woo run those rules by the Khween Khanine of the house?

Khyra The Pawsylvania Siberian

The Thundering Herd said...

Scampi -

We really enjoyed your rules, but it appears you have an underwear fetish. That appears to a be a common theme.

And we are curious if Kira agrees with the ownership of all toys.

P.S. - We love the UPS truck. That is how our food gets here.

Princess Eva and Brice said...

I think I want to be just like you when I grow up!


Niamh said...

Good rules Scampi.

Your friend,

Martha Basset said...

That sounds good to us Scampi! If you ask us the other dogs have it the wrong way round.....
Martha & Bailey xx

Hamish Westie said...

Scampi, with reference to this list of rules and also to your comment on my latest blog post, I do not think that you are making a very good case for a border collie being a suitable pet to cheer up our British Prime Minister.....
Cheers! H.

Nibbles Treats said...

You are our hero! We love your list and agree with each and every one!

Tinkerbell, Oscar and Tucker

Steve, Kat, & Wilbur said...

Great rules! I think I should add some of those to my list, especially the head in the refrigerator bit.


The Army of Four said...

Hee hee hee! Scampi, you're so funny!

Mango said...

Those are most excellent rules to live by. I am particularly fond of the crotch face wipe myself.


Mason Dixie said...

that sounds like a much better list. =)

The OP Pack said...

Ha roo rooo rooooooo! That was just great, Scampi!!!

Woos and happy weekend, the OP Pack

Dughallmor Beagles said...

Now Scampi, everyone knows that rules are made to be broken and we must humour our humans :D
LOVE the soggy tennis ball in the underwear, must try that one....but we usually get locked out now when the humans go in the bathroom....very inconsiderate!
Slobbers xx
....and smooches fur ma girl xxxx

Ozzie the OZmonster said...


Nice list! I have never thought about getting the underwear and running around with it when guests are over. I usually just go into puppy freakout mode. I'm going to try the underwear thing as soon as I can.


Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello scampi its dennis the vizsla dog hay theez ar grate roolz i wil strive to follo them!!! ok bye